There is a strong sense of vulnerability that runs through The Golden Light Within. This honours the great amount of courage required to observe ourselves and our surroundings from a place of raw honesty, where there is nothing left to hide behind, no mask to wear. Most of us can relate to experiencing unexpected life events, where our comfortable shell is ripped away and we are left bare. In this exposed space we may find ourselves faced with the choice to fabricate another hiding-place or to step into our naked form, armed only with the desire to understand its nuances, motivations and subconscious impulses.
It is from this place of immersive enquiry that the organisation of explorative creation within the book, utilises the self to consider how this emotional processing of personal, vulnerable spaces can be relevant and help others find sense and meaning.
Below is an excerpt, where the author delves into the debilitating nature of depression and is transformed by exploring this state of being as a guide towards wholeness.
The Tide – healing waters of emotion
‘This is exactly what depression does’, I thought. ‘It makes sure it stops you completely.’
And once I stopped and became still, I could hear the wise old crone’s voice ringing out clearly:
‘Stop giving yourself away.
Stop looking for worthiness through others.
Stop trying to fix someone else’s life instead of your own.
Come home, treasured one,
to this foetal space where only you exist;
to this raw place where your feelings are begging you
to take notice of them; where the lies you
have built your experiences upon want
to be overturned and questioned.
Come home and be present in your life.
Come inside and heal your hurts first.
This is a sacred space
that I have created for you,
where you are unable to run away,
unable to replace your challenges
with someone else’s.
As you heal and voluntarily create time
and stillness for your inner healing, I will ease
my grip, tightening only to remind you when you forget
to take responsibility for your own journey with life;
when you forget to live fully, honouring yourself
as worthy, valuable and interconnected
through your spirit to all that is.’
From that warm, womb-like vision birthed the realisation that depression was not the violent enemy I had cursed and despised. On the contrary, it was an old friend speaking to me in a language I could finally understand. The words and mannerisms were crude, but so was my stubborn refusal to comprehend. This old friend risked my wrath to tell me to stop.
Depression still journeys alongside, but we are companions now, part of one another. I dropped my rage at her iniquitous ways and listened. I stopped and I listened to her guidance. She coaxed me into a deeper appreciation, and realisation of my inner riches, into the depths of tranquility below. She helped me reign my fury in and give it the space to burn internally where it could melt false and dis-serving beliefs. The falsities I had allowed to rule my life.
Now, I know that she is a reliable guide whom I can trust, and that when I feel her tighten her grip again, I am sure to be side-stepping an important aspect of my life that she is alerting me to .
‘Feel it all. When you stop thrashing and fighting,
you can breathe in all the emotion and still stay afloat,
allowing the tranquil sensation of water to move through you,
transforming you on its way,’ cackles the crone.